There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize