kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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