P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
