Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
