im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
