I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
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I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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