I love black thongs
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
