member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
