so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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