I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
