He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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