Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
