We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
