My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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