Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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