shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
