I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
