how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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