sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
