She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
