He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
