I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
