I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
