One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
