we're blogging at a bar
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
