dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
