I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
