OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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