I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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