A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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