I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
