4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize