fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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