When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
