your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
