Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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