is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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