Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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