your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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