so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
