Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
