My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the day after is always just damage control
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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