i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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