You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
