just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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