I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize