See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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