so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
