remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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