oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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