Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
