Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
