I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't shave. On purpose
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
