Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
