you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
