i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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