as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
