ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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