i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
