I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
