so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
