You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
