The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
