Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
