I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize