shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
