I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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