So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize